Lately, the story about the woman who failed to order her Daily Domino’s pizza has been whispering to me. That’s right I am a pizza whisperer. Anyway, having quit smoking several years ago, I gained the equivalent of five fat chihuahua’s. This was accomplished by quitting smoking and by nursing two children at once, which, as you may know burns something like an extra 500 million bazillion calories a day*. And that is just for one child. I am pretty sure for two, you can triple that, maybe quadruple it*. And no, I did not eat three pepperoni pizzas a day. Stupid me, I ate oatmeal and tuna and lean chicken and vegetables. In fact I tried really hard not to eat pizza. Because I love pizza.
So, when I saw the clip on television with the woman being rolled out on the stretcher. I wondered how that woman could eat a Domino’s pizza a day and remain relatively thin. I saw the pictures, she is relatively thin. Especially to me since I look more like Shamu.
So thus, to shut the pizza whisperer up and answer this question, I turned to the oracle of all wisdom, Google.
The goog tells me that a thin crust Domino’s pepperoni pizza has 170 calories per slice. Times eight, that is 1360 calories per day. Genius! According to most diet wisdom, 1360 should be sufficiently low amount of calories to lose weight. I could eat one thin crust pepperoni pizza a day and lose weight. In fact, I could have skip one slice and have a coke with dinner. I could be the Jared of Domino’s!
Yum!
*Gross estimate, yeah, really gross.

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